Dear Lifehacker,
I hate small talk. I never know how in-depth I should go into a conversation and I'm just not that into talking about the weather. With the long weekend coming up and lots of social obligations, I'm wondering, how can I turn all that small talk into an actual conversation?

Sincerely,
Big Talk

Dear BT,
Nobody really likes small talk and it's certainly one of the more boring tasks we all go through. While a lot of small talk is based only on the fact you're standing next to someone and have to say something, the real goal is to find a common ground to spark up a conversation. Let's look at a few things you can do to get that conversation rolling a little quicker.

Share Small Details Until One Idea Sticks

We've mentioned how sharing small details during small talk is a really good way to gauge interest in a subject and start up a real conversation. Instead of responding to a simple question like, "How's it going?" with "Good, you?" expand your reply with a details about your day. For instance, you might say, "Good, I spent the morning kayaking and I'm feeling great!"

When you share that little piece of your story you'll get one of two responses: a question about how it was or a disinterested, "Oh cool." If they reciprocate your excitement you have an in and can continue the conversation. If they don't seem interested try revealing another detail until something sticks. Photo by David Goehring.

Learn to Ask Relevant Questions

We're all hard-wired to share information about ourselves, but in order to get to a point where you're having a real conversation, it's important to show interest in another person first. As Psychology Today points out you can do this in any number of ways. Start by listening correctly:

Too often when we're meeting someone new, we try to fill the dead moments with chatter about ourselves. Far better for you to listen first, talk second. Of course, someone has to start the conversation, but if you and your companion actually listen to each other and not worry about what to say next, things will flow more naturally.

Once you have a good idea of what's going on you can use that information to ask the right kinds of questions. Asking questions is a great way to turn small talk into a conversation naturally. Just make sure your question is relevant to the topic at hand and not a way to turn the conversation back to you. Photo by Clarkston SCAMP.

Arm Yourself with Relevant Topics

People love to talk about the news, and it's an easy way to step up boring bits of small talk and turn it into a fun conversation. Walking in with a few topic ideas in mind is a good way to direct a conversation. The Art of Manliness has a simple formula for coming up with topics:

If you don't know the people you will be conversing with, think about the things that will probably interest those you meet. Ask them about the unique aspects of their locale ("I saw an interesting statue in the way into town. What's the story behind it?"), read up on the company they work for ("I hear you will be expanding into China soon—when will that be happening?) and ask those who do know the others better for some background information.

The idea is that if you can find a few bits of relevant information you can take an otherwise boring small talk conversation and direct it toward something more interesting. Photo by John Verive.

Respond to "What Do You Do (For a Living/For Fun)?" with Something You Actually Did

One of the most common conversation starters is "so, what do you do?" It's meant as a quick way to gauge the ways a person might be interesting. Depending on your job this might be an easy response, but for many of us it's a little more complicated.

In my own experience, I've found that most of my jobs require more than a one or two word answer because I've had very few jobs in my life where the job title explains what I do. Instead of responding to "What do you do for a living?" by saying I'm a writer for Lifehacker, I'll usually expand it by adding a few notes about what I wrote about that week or talk about an experience. Basically, instead of responding with where you work and your official position, come up with a story that exemplifies what you do for a living.

The same goes for the "What do you do for fun?" question. Don't just say, "Oh, I usually go hiking" (or whatever). Talk about a recent experience with your hobby, like, "This past weekend I went up the mountain and had a picnic with my sister. We saw a bear chasing a mountain goat."

The basic idea running through all of these suggestions is to find the hook in the small talk and pull it out so you're both on common ground. To find it you have to pay attention to subtle cues, listen to how they reply, share a good amount of info about yourself, and learn to gauge when they're interested.

Sincerely,
Lifehacker

P.S. Have your own tricks for turning small talk into something more meaningful? Share it in the comments.

Have a question or suggestion for Ask Lifehacker? Send it to tips+asklh@lifehacker.com.

Title image remixed from Dvarg (Shutterstock) and Everett Collection (Shutterstock).

The way you speak has a big impact on how others perceive you. If you talk too slow you might be seen as less truthful and if you talk high-pitched you may seem nervous. Psychology Today suggests one way to correct for your natural tone and come across as credible is to use expressive speech.

The idea works regardless of how you usually speak. Psychology Today points out you just need to vary that speech a little:

Expressive speech, with modulation in pitch and volume, and a minimum of noticeable pauses, boosts credibility and enhances the impression of intelligence. Other studies show that, just as people signal the basic emotions through facial expression, we also do it through voice. Listeners instinctively detect that when we lower the usual pitch of our voice, we are sad, and when we raise it we are angry or fearful.

While you can't consciously change your voice you can pay attention to how you're speaking. If you need to sound credibile make sure you're shifting the pitch and volume around to keep people engaged with emotion.

How We are Judged by Our Voice n Dating and the Workplace | Psychology Today

Photo by MagneticNorth.

Millennial Branding and Experience Inc. surveyed 225 employers to find out what's most important to them when they hire students or others for entry-level jobs. "Soft skills" like communication and teamwork were ranked even higher than education, and almost all employers said students should have at least one internship before they graduate.

An internship can be a great way to get a job, especially if you have no relevant experience. 91% of the employers surveyed said students should have between one and two internships under their belt, and those internships should be at least three months. 82% of the employers said they hire interns for full-time positions, although half of them haven't hired interns in the last six months.

However, keep in mind that relevant courses and recommendations matter more than internship experience. GPA doesn't seem to matter as much though.

If you're looking for an entry-level job, be sure to brush up on your communication skills and prepare to demonstrate your positive attitude, adaptability, and teamwork skills. Think of examples from past experience that can show off those critical skills.

Here's all the survey data in infographic form (click to expand or right-click to save):

Soft skills still outweigh education in entry-level hires: infographic | Econsultancy

When it comes to great writing, less is more. But even if you're familiar with the mantra to "omit needless words," tightening your writing is harder than it looks. Which words should you omit? How can you write more clearly? Danny Rubin, a national news consultant and former television news reporter, demonstrates—with examples—the power of brevity.

There is a common misconception when it comes to writing that is professional in nature that a person must write in a verbose manner to come across as intelligent.

I am sorry. Let me do that again.

People often make a mistake in thinking that writing long-winded sentences with big words makes them appear smart.

Actually, let me try this one more time.

You don't need to write a lot or use big words to sound smart.

Now, that's better.

Too often, people write sentences like the one at the top when they should choose version #3. The main culprit, in my view, is the loathsome college essay. Only in college are we forced to write a paper a certain length. We develop strategies that balloon our paragraphs so we can fill out eight, 10 or 12 pages and pick up our gold stars on the way out.

In the real world, most people don't enjoy reading cover letters, resumes and presentations. It's extra work and burdensome. Worst of all, trying to write beyond our skill level screams ‘I'm in over my head.'

When you write with brevity, you make your points quickly and shrewdly. You don't waste words and, in doing so, you don't waste a person's time. An employer or hiring manager, for instance, then sees you as sharp and courteous.

The secret to brevity (and, in turn, clarity) is something we are rarely taught growing up and may appear anathema to a professor of English lit:

Write like you are talking to a friend.

I don't mean write in Internet jargon or shorthand. Whenever I am stuck on a sentence, I step back from the computer screen and ask myself, ‘OK, what am I trying to say here?' Rather than come up with the most eloquent way to make my point, I write it out in plain English as if talking to a buddy. And once I have my conversational sentence, then I go and attack it with a red pen.

Let's use the examples from the top.

The before:

There is a common misconception when it comes to writing that is professional in nature that a person must write in a verbose manner to come across as intelligent.

The after:

You don't need to write a lot or use big words to sound smart.

First things first, I switched the voice from passive to active (from ‘there is' to ‘you'). Always locate your subject and lead with it. Active voice feels confident; passive does not.

To write the shorter sentence (version 3), I literally sat up from my computer and asked, ‘What am I trying to say?' I stopped trying to be clever with it, and the words found their way onto the page.

I also have a habit of being very critical with the number of words I use in each sentence. Once I write something, I go back and decide if each and every word I just wrote deserves to be there. Say to yourself: if I remove this word, would the sentence still make sense? If I removed this sentence, would the paragraph make sense? And the ultimate: do I really need this paragraph?

Speed is key. When people read your cover letters and resume, you need to be very respectful of their time. Don't write five huge paragraphs that go on and on. Be tough on yourself and really give them just what they need to know. You are better off making one or two main points (or telling one great story) rather than trying to jam your entire life into an employer's brain.

And when you finish editing your work, go back and edit again. After that, go back and edit some more. A boss may never tell you he/she loved your cover letter or resume, but ones that are tightly written and well-composed will leave an impression.

Most of all, you will stand out. College did not prepare us very well for the process of job applications. But those who take it upon themselves to learn to harness the power of brevity will have an edge every time.

Danny Rubin is a national news consultant for media research firm Frank N Magid Associates. He is a former television news reporter, lives in Washington, D.C. and tweets as @dannyhrubin.

Article republished with permission from Brazen Life, a lifestyle and career blog for ambitious young professionals. Hosted by Brazen Careerist, Brazen Life offers edgy and fun ideas for navigating the changing world of work.

Photo remixed from originals by Maksym Bondarchuk and Jo De Vulder (Shutterstock)